“One of the world’s largest telescopes is being proposed for the top of Hawai’i’s most sacred mountain, Mauna Kea.”

The beginning line from this beautiful story of why Hawaiians, the residents of these islands, and all those who understand the value of sacred spaces are defending this sacred mountain, and protecting it from an 18-story concrete telescope.

“If you believe something that immense will not create repercussions, I ask you to rethink that deeply…. This time we speak for the mountain, and the mountain says no.”

I myself am not Hawaiian, nor will I ever claim to be. But since learning about it this year, I’ve felt strongly about it and been drawn to the call to make a stand.

From how I see and feel it, the sacred lands of Hawai’i represent all our sacred lands – and more importantly, all that is sacred within us. If we do our research we’ll know that to stand with true science doesn’t mean we have to be on the other side as the Hawaiian people and their Mauna Kea. (READ: Hundreds of Astronomers Denounce Arrest of Native Hawaiians Protesting Thirty Meter Telescope)

For me, denouncing TMT was a very easy call to make because… I just will always be the kind of person who choses spirit and heritage over development that doesn’t mean development FOR ALL . And, now that I’ve gone up Mauna Wakea twice, with my most recent visit being one to stand with the kia’i (protectors) of the mountain – the call isn’t just easy to make. It’s just the right thing to do.

This has been me, for a little bit of time now. Enough time for me to be a little worried, but not enough time for me to despair.

I’m not too worried because this isn’t my first go around the bend. I’ve never been diagnosed because… I don’t really want to identify myself with any condition and have that define who I am, or how people see me – nor do I want to discount the very real and more intense experiences of those friends I’ve known with diagnosed clinical depression. But, yeah, the truth – All my life I’ve had depressive episodes. Sometimes lasting for a day, sometimes months, sometimes shallow enough to easily break through, and sometimes it was like I would never feel happy again. I remember being a young kid and having a few moments where I actually thought, I need help. And I’ve had some of those moments as an adult too.

I’ve accepted this cycle of up and down and see it as a part of life – because brushing it off has never ever served me. In a way, I can organize my life by those episodes. I see the moments of sad numbness and gray tasteless everything… And then I see the actual moment when I felt the sun start shining in my mind again. It’s its own reward, observing all the goodness that came from just sticking it out and not giving up on myself — all the things I was able to accomplish, all the learning, all the love that I always knew was there but actually felt now coming from everywhere and everyone.

All I really had to do was believe that I was stronger than I thought.

… And give myself the tools to have that strength break through and up like a seed reaching for the light.